2008 has been one roller-coaster of a ride with lots of ups and a few very significant downs. Being laid off before the holiday, I told my friends immediately, "I'm not doing Christmas. I'll catch you next year." It was an easy decision to make. After all, there ain't no money coming in, so I'm pretty Ebenezer-like with the money going out. Everyone, of course, understood and respected my request to not receive gifts since I couldn't reciprocate.
I've never been a big fan of Christmas. There's plenty I do like about it. I have a few gigs of holiday music in my iTunes. I love seeing everything lit up with twinkling lights. And of course, who doesn't like Christmas cookies? But as for the rest of it, I could do without. I've always felt the financial crunch when it comes to gift giving. I've felt spread thin with time commitments and been to plenty of parties that made my social anxiety rear its ugly head. I feel getting sick on Christmas last year was a gift of sorts. It let me spend all day sleeping on the sofa, eat Chinese food and watch crap reality TV.
But a funny thing happened this year. Canceling Christmas took all of the pressure off. I've enjoy every party I've attended. I've been able to spend quality time with people I love. And I've kept my sanity by not spending one second shopping during the retail hell season. It's been very refreshing to actually enjoy the season.
The best thing is, I think I've appreciated this year and all I've gone through more because of it. Overall, this year's been a rough one, especially the last several weeks, many of which I spent sick to my stomach with worry and uncertainty. But this year, during this holiday season, I've felt truly blessed.
I don't throw that word around lightly. It has all sorts of heavenly, Jesus-fied implications that I don't subscribe to, but there is truly no other word I can use to describe what I feel.
My friends have been wonderful throughout this difficult time. Whether it be a call, an email, an instant message, whatever. It's always good to know someone is thinking about you. Even people I've never met, people who visit this site, have been very kind sending me encouraging emails and best wishes. A few of Santa's helpers banned together to send me some Christmas cheer that brought tears to my eyes. I have been deeply moved by the generosity of everyone. I've never felt so much love. You are all awesome. Your support helped make this difficult time a lot easier.
This Christmas has also brought some work my way. I've accepted a temp job that starts after the New Year. It's the first time I've done contract to hire work and I think it's a good fit. Of course, having income will be nice again. Papa needs some new shoes. Plus, I won't have to have my mail forwarded to my car after all. Very good news indeed.
However you choose to spend the holiday, I hope it is a great one. Thank you for being you.
Peace,
Brian